Lex Get Together #3 | New Year, New Connections

The beauty of beginnings is that they're available to us any day we choose to start. We feel the societal drive to make sweeping changes around December/January each year but the truth is you can start over and over again.

As you move further into 2025, look for opportunities to begin. To start something new.

Ready to start your own new chapter? Here are a few places to jump in:

• Volunteermatch.org: A platform that connects you with volunteer opportunities in your area.

• Discord’s Server Directory: For my fellow internet nerds, there are servers dedicated to talking about gaming, movies, etc.

• Your local library!!!! I’ll forever sing the praises of the library to build/find community. There are often events for families, sober-friendly spaces, and crafting activities.

• Skip The Small Talk: In-person and online opportunities to meet people in a low-pressure environment. I went to one of these in ATX and it was a blast.

Platforms like Meetup or Eventbrite might seem obvious, but they’re popular for a reason. They’re great tools for finding groups or events centered around your interests.

These days, I volunteer as a mentor on ADP List. Even if you only have 30 minutes to spare, mentoring one person a week can make a huge difference—and it’s a great way to connect with people who share your interests or goals.

Skip the Shame, Start Small

After moving across the country during the pandemic, I found myself in a new city knowing exactly one person (my roommate). The isolation was intense, and my instinct was to push myself to be as social as my pre-pandemic self.

After months of shaming myself into making more connections, I realized I didn't need to "try harder" to make friends. I needed to find spaces where beginning felt more natural. I had to accept that I wasn't the same person I was before the pandemic, and that was okay. My life had changed, and my approach to connection needed to change too. I had to begin again!

When I reevaluated my approach, I saw that I was going too big too quickly. Once I scaled down my commitments and chose spaces that felt more relaxed, it became much easier for me to show up.

If diving into a new group or event feels hard, start small. Reach out to one person you’d like to reconnect with or introduce yourself to someone new at an event.

Leveraging the Internet

A few months ago, I joined a local Silent Book Club through Meetup, and it’s an introvert’s dream. We gather for snacks and drinks, chat for a little while, and then spend the bulk of our time reading in the company of others. No pressure, no awkward small talk—just a shared love of books.

One thing I’ve noticed is that there’s a bit of body doubling happening in these meetings. Being surrounded by others who are quietly focused on reading has helped me read more.

If you’re not familiar with the term, a body double is a friend or partner who works alongside you. Having someone present—physically or virtually—can make tasks feel less daunting. That extra presence helps keep you focused and accountable. If you’ve ever noticed that the things you’re procrastinating on (chores, homework, etc.) are easier to do when you’re with other people, that’s probably because you’re unknowingly body doubling!

(More on body doubling here, if you’re curious.)

Think about what exists in your local community that aligns with your goals for 2025. Are there groups you could join? Events you could attend? Who might serve as your body double—or even just a source of encouragement—as you work on the things that matter most to you?

Investigating the Barriers

Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to get in our own way. This is where your inner critic comes in—the voice that questions you, second-guesses you, or tries to convince you to stay in your comfort zone. Rather than shifting to blame — get curious.

❌ Instead of: “You’re not putting yourself out there enough. You’re never going to meet anybody this way.”

✅ Try: “What’s getting in the way of my connections? What’s making this hard for me? What would make me feel safe to try something new?”

Ever found yourself hesitating to show up or connect with others? It’s worth asking:
What story is my inner critic telling me?

If this resonates, I dive deeper into how to understand and navigate your inner critic in my latest blog post: 👉 Talk to Your Inner Critic

Question of the Week

Until next time,